Monday, October 15, 2007


I just stood in line at the post office for an hour and a half. It was one of the most irritating things I have had to do- I just kept getting more and more bitter. Thank baby Jesus born in a manger for Brickbraker. Even that got screwed though, some bitch bumped me as I was on the verge of beat my own personal high score... After that disappointment I decided I should do my second favorite thing- people watch/eves drop. Here is a quick synopsis of the fuggos I was in line with:

First there was the most pear-shaped man I had ever seen, he was wearing an argyle sweater-vest to make matters worse.

Next I noticed the pregnant woman whose fetus was sitting so low it looked like her bladder was pregnant with sextuplets. Seriously gross, I wasn't the only one staring.

Then we had the 4' tall Asian woman with the cell phone flare. Why do you need charms hanging off of your MotoRazr anyways?

But my favorite had to be the dumpy Donna on the phone with her friend who had apparently just broken up with her fiance. This chick was bit-ter! She kept saying things like, "I don't think it's appropriate for you to be dating yet. If I met someone who had just broken off their engagement I would think, like, whoa, there's something wrong here. You just need some 'you' time." OMG, run sister. This bitch is single white femaling your ass! Seriously, if your newly single friend wants to go out and fuck around, don't hate because you're too annoying to get a boyfriend.

Judging by how she looked and the way she spoke, all I could think was that Donna, in line at the post office, is someone else's Albino Python.

At least now I don't feel so alone.

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