Thursday, August 30, 2007

Tiger Woods?

What is it with middle aged men having perpetual boners for golf? I just spent the last 4 hours listening to a guy yammer on about par, tee times, 9-irons, and a play by play of the last PGA tourney. Christ.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Word De Jour

The buzz is still going on this Nintendo Wii. My 25 year old BFF just got one and it appears to have already worked itself into his daily routine (as well as into his Myspace photo album).

WTF? Am I missing something? What's the big deal with this game? Has the whole world gone Wii-tarded*?

*patent pending, eat it urbandictionary.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I just got called "Sir" on the phone

Which is funny considering I sound like a 12 year old boy.

Friday, August 24, 2007


Who says that smell is the strongest sense tied to memory? I started listening to this extremely random station at work today and was flooded with thoughts that took me back to some pretty awesome places/times in my life. Below are a few highlights.

Greenday, Time of your Life- Leaving for college for the first time and listening to my BFF cd from my BFF, smoking 100 cigarettes, crying my face off and already feeling homesick.

Spin Doctors, Little Miss Can't be Wrong- My 7th grade b-day party, where Murphy's Law was in full effect. Under age drinking, bawling Catholic School girls, indoor snowball fights, little Tony seeing his first bra, the defacing of Chicago Bulls paraphernalia, and of course, Bobbo storming out and saying, "Tell that bitch I said happy birthday!" I can still feel the love!

Corey Hart, Never Surrender- This was one of my top three* favorite songs when I was a tiny, tasteless child.
*The other two were We Built this City by Starship and I Ain't Missing You by John Waite. No wonder I never made it as a music critic.

Bob Seger, Turn the Page- That one is a tie between CB(now CC)'s vintage Silver Bullet Band tee from college and when BJ surprised me with tickets for the Seger concert at MSG last year... If you're wondering if we had passes to get into the after party to meet the saxophone player, the answer would be yes!

Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive- Playing office hockey, a white Jeep Cherokee, and having braces. And Leanne Rhymes, ugh.

Why Thai?

Am I crazy or don't Spring Rolls always come with a deliciously tangy Sweet and Sour sauce?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Don't F*ck with us

How did you spend your Saturday night?

I spent mine drinking a bouquet of beers that eventually lead to a soul shaking karaoke version of Journey's, "Don't Stop Believin'." It was a friends birthday party so my live in lova and I stayed out way past our usual 12 a.m.

As four o'clock rolled around, we decided we'd had enough. I can't even tell you if we walked or took a taxi, all I remember is approaching the stoop of our Lower East Side apartment building, and noticing a group of young, drunken vagrants standing in our way. BJ (my boyfriend) went first and said, "Excuse me," as he stepped over a few of them. I followed behind and one of these lovely young men made a reference to Victoria's Secret and then asked me if I wanted a free fitting. In a nonthreatening tone I simply said, "No, I'm good, thanks." This lead to me being called a little bitch and other amazing things by this pack of store brand douches.

We were both pissed and drunk enough to do something about it. After plotting our revenge strategy on the four flights up to our den of sin, we got inside and grabbed the worst liquids we had in our pantry (which ended up being a decent bottle of balsamic vinegar and a shitty bottle of vanilla rum). Come to think of it, we could have made worse things, but it was truly a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. Next we hauled ass up to the roof of our building where BJ scaled the curved edge in order to douse these a-holes with the vanilla-rum vinaigrette. For big tough guys, they sure screamed like bitches when they realized that their favorite Armani Exchange polo's were getting soaked with stinky sky sauce. The hilarity lasted for about 10 seconds until we heard loud banging noises coming from the hallway and realized they were trying to get in.

After a slight horror movie-esque scene of "trying to unlock the front door but the key is not working," we got inside the apartment, secured all 35 locks on the door, and shut off all of the lights.

I fell asleep that night clinging to my cellphone. The next day there was evidence that they got in- garbage from the bar next door was all over the first floor. Outside, there were beautiful balsamic stains on the sidewalk and stoop that proved that BJ is a sure shot while drunk and pouring from a rooftop.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The First...

Welcome ME!

This is my first blog and/or posting. I'm still debating whether I am going to keep this blog anonymous and just use it as a forum to vent and tell stories without fear of hurting any feelings, or if my artistic expression would be appreciated by those who will surely be mentioned.

If anyone happens to see this in the blog-o-sphere, let me know what you think. The new kid needs your wisdom and advice. Much love.