Monday, November 24, 2008

Oh look, its Pikachu!!!

I haven't said too much about the new girl in my office. Maybe its because I've been trying really hard not to hate her or the fact I've been trying to think positive in general (I feel like my bitterness and negativity takes over my whole personality and that's not cute). Anyways, when she drops a golden nugget of stupidity, how can I not share it with you?

She was just stamping envelopes and asked me, "Stockholm? Is that in Seattle?"

Jesus H. Christ, its a good think her ta-ta's are the size of something you'd seen in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Why are the gays SO hot?

Seriously. I couldn't move like that if I was on fire.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!

Last week we were at the dog run and it was an extremely active day for some reason. The dogs were playing and chasing each other and sprinting in circles. All of a sudden, this medium sized dog came at me so fast I didn't even have time to comprehend what was going on. Before I could move he ran head first into my legs and completely clothes lined me!

The dog didn't even pause but I went flying ass over tea kettle into the dirt. I was in shock when I got up and just started laughing but then the pain started to sink in. 5 days later I have this to show for my canine hit and run:

What do you mean the title has nothing to do with the post?