- I drink 4 small bottles of water but feel more thirsty than I do after drinking 1 big bottle.
- you have to get over your fear of being known as a triple flusher to the girl who sits right outside the bathroom.
- stress is managable, because you can control how much you really give a shit.
- you find out that your 7th grade boyfriends baby sister is 18 and feel so shocked that you're convinced his parents adopted another one in between.
- it's ok if your lover calls you a wino.
- you need to take a mental health day at work and just catch up on your local news/myspace/email/youtube/play a little Classic Oregon Trail.
- celebrity gossip bores me to death.
- I hate people.
- you need to stop blogging so you can get home to poop, without careing about the number of flushes.
Baby, pour me a glass of Pinot and warm up that toilet seat. I'm on my way...
1 comment:
Sometimes I get really excited about the next wave of poop coming through the tunnel. You know you can feel the weight of it...you try to relax, maybe contract your stomach muscles a bit to help it gain speed. That moment right before it hits the exit is so full of aprehension. When it's just right, I think about it for at least the next 20 minutes...at least!
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