Welcome to the Century Club

Hooray! This is officially the 100th post on Vex and the City! Who would have thought I'd actually stick with this blogging thing? It comes on the same day as the new SATC movie hits theatres- coincidence? I think so!

G's up, ho's down while you motha fuckas bounce to this:

down the hatch!

Does this look like the face of a hardcore criminal or just a grandma who accidentally walked through a room filled with farts?

If you said 'grandma who walked through farts' you'd be wrong. In an amazing attempt to shame violators and deter drunk driving, a Long Island police department has released the names, addresses, and mugshots of everyone arrested over the holiday weekend for a DWI or DUI. Here is the article and photo gallery from 1010wins...Clearly none of these fools won (harhar).

I love this. Its like looking through submission photos for an ugly-off. Good luck trying to meet your next 14 year old chatroom girlfriend Christopher Mackrodt, because when she Googles you, that picture is going to be the first thing she sees. As for you Kerri L. Boerner, you can kiss your dreams of being the token plus sized girl on the next season of ANTM goodbye... Tyra don't do DUI's, aiight?

Actual Conversation

Ok, I just found this post that I forgot to publish back in October. "Her" is the Albino Python.

Her: eric doesn't want outback today?
me: what?
Her: he doesn't want outback for lunch?
me: I don't know, I didn't ask.
Her: I'm ordering with out you.
me: what? oh.
Her: I'm getting a blt. Where can I get a good blt toasted?
me: what? *slow turn* I don't know, I've never ordered one.
Her: blake and todd is good, they have good bread but they don't toast it.
me: ok.
Her: maybe I'll try burger heaven, but then I have to write out all of these instructions. what if they don't put the mayo on the side?
me: what?
Her: no, I'm going to go to blake and todd and if they mess it up, I'll just call. maybe I'll say extra toasted? but not burnt, I really hope they don't burn it. that's what I'll do.
me: oh. ok, good.

Sometimes I really miss that pigmentally challenged bitch.

Imbeciles.

Please see the results of this weather.com poll I just came across:

How concerned are you about global warming?

Very concerned
32.4%
Somewhat concerned
17.0%
Not very concerned
11.5%
I'm not convinced it's true
38.8%

Really? 38.8% of people are not convinced global warming is true? Really?

Hey Em,

Please tell me your bridesmaid dress looked like this:



Simply stunning.

God Help Her.

I was trying to be nice and not post this, but the more I thought about it, the more angry/sad I became. My future nephews mother (50% of his DNA supply) is one of those people who LOVES Myspace Bulletins. I usually try not to read them (mostly because I know that the machine for giving you back wasted time hasn't been invented yet) but yesterday I pushed better judgement aside and said what the heck! Here is one of the survey questions and her answer:

Why are cat ladies weird?
cause they're humans that look like fucking cats.........too odd for me

Every time I read it I die a little inside.

Here we go again

Looks like Wadadli loves Bon Jovi almost as much as his daddy does. I swear the song was playing before he started doing this: