201

I just had my improv 201 show at the UCB. Everything went really well, except for this one scene in which one of my male classmates kept grabbing the ass of a female classmate. It was super creepy and uncool.

What may have been worse was his attempt at justification for it afterwards. He tried to argue the point that "people are cool with it" and everyone should "expect things like that." Yes, because molestation is a form of comedy in some circles. All I remember is feeling the collective cringe of everyone on stage and in the audience. Thanks, creepy former classmate!

The Holidays, Part I

We put up our miniature Christmas tree and it looks pretty sad now that we're living in a place that's bigger than a shoebox. What's worse is that Wadadli has taken a real liking to the golden bead garland. We came home to a pile of loose beads and I'm positive he ate a few because he's a disgusting animal that will literally eat anything. Now every time he poops I stare like I'm expecting him to lay little golden eggs. None yet, but I'll keep you posted...

Crap!

I stayed home from work today so I almost forgot to blog! Nothing too crazy to report on, unless you consider making a delicious tortilla soup with chicken, lime and smoked chilies 'crazy.' Someday I'll put the recipe up here because it's f-ing amazing... For now, I have popsicles to eat and Dexters to watch so I'm out. Happy Friday!

A Regret.

Last night as Eric and I walked to the subway we saw these Memorex cabs parked on 60th Street with a microphone set up and people trying to get you to sing for a ride. We looked at each other and said we should *totally* do it but when the guy asked us we chickened out and went our seperate ways.

As I walked down the steps the guy yelled to me again, "Come on! Your boyfriend really wants to do it!" I giggled but kept going. Once under ground I began to regret not taking a ride in the Karaoke Cab because, damn it, it would have been fun! So I secretly vowed to myself that I would do it if I ever saw them again. Lucky for all of us, they are roaming the streets of New York until December 23rd!!! What are the odds they'll have Womanizer as a song choice?

I really am an asshole.

Consider this part 2.

A few Christmases ago I ran into a friend from high school that I hadn't seen in several years (lets call her "Nicole"). You have to understand, "Nicole" was never fat, she just had a little more T&A than most of us (lucky bitch). Anyways, she looked amazing so I knew I just *had* to compliment her. We hugged, said hello and then I exclaimed, "OMG! You look great! Did you lose like, 500 pounds?" I felt so confident that I just said the most flattering thing in the history of the world until she made a weird face and tried to laugh while saying, "Um, no. That would mean that I weighed 645 pounds before."

In my defense, I was a slightly drunk. Here is a sampling of my inner monologue right before it happened: "Wow! She looks good, I think she lost weight. I should ask her. Do I say 15? No. That just sounds dumb. 50? Not quite dramatic enough...500? YES! I will ask this girl who I haven't seen in 3 years if she has lost 500 pounds because that will show that I think she looks good and is fit and healthy. Splendid!"

What a horrible, horrible idea. I still get embarrassed when I think about it. In fact, whenever I think of "Nicole" now I think of that and I just imagine her stewing and hating me ever since. It bothers me so much that I often think about emailing her an apology (but if she somehow forgot all about it I wouldn't want to bring it up and maker her remember how much of an asshole I was). On the other hand, I don't want her to think that I honestly thought she was 500 lbs overweight. Christ. What's a girl to do? Seriously, she's coming to NYC and I will likely be hanging out with her. Do I apologize for my not-so-complimentary 'compliment' or just act like it never happened?

Your advice is greatly appreciated.

I've Been Challenged!

Loyal Vex reader Jeff G. has challenged me to the "25 days of Vex-mas" post-a-day until Christmas. Well my friend, you are on. Consider this my post for December 2nd.

Long before Sandler's Piece of Shit Car, der were Da Yoopers

(I couldn't decided which of these to post so you get both)





And to top it all off:



For those of you who don't know, these are some serious local celebrities in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Kanye West ain't got shit on Conga se Menne, eh!